Bluthanized

All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

2011-01-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Title: All Dogs Go to Heaven
Year: 1989
Rated: G
Run Time: 1 hour, 29 minutes

Starring
Burt Reynolds as Charlie B. Barkin
Dom DeLuise as Itchy Itchiford
Judith Barsi as Anne-Marie
Vic Tayback as Carface Carruthers

Charles Nelson Reilly as Killer
Loni Anderson as Flo

Melba Moore as Annabelle
Ken Page as King Gator

Plot: A dog returns from the dead looking for revenge on his killer and uses an orphan girl who can talk to animals to gamble.
Based on: Apparently an original screenplay.
Setting: New Orleans, Louisiana, 1939.

Tagline: But not all dogs stay there!

Andrew's First Viewing: First semester of sophomore year, fall 2007

Jordyn's First Viewing: August 27, 2010 on Netflix.

Andrew's Comments
Unlike our previous two films (and, according to its VHS sales, a great many other kids who grew up in the 90’s), All Dogs Go to Heaven was never part of my film-watching repertoire. I first saw when my friends Lauren and Eugene were watching it it one night during my second year of college. I had heard of it prior to that, maybe saw some footage here and there, but left ultimately unimpressed by Don Bluth’s fourth major animated release (and first to be completed in his new animation studio in Ireland).

Perhaps it was the setting, perhaps it was the songs, but something about the film just didn’t grab me in any nostalgia-defying way (and since there was no nostalgia to defy, I was able to get the full brunt of what I thought was a very mediocre experience). Since then, I feel like my opinion of the movie has increased, though marginally.

The plot concerns Charlie B. Barkin (because apparently Charles Barkley was already taken) escaping from the pound with the help of his pal Itchy and reestablishing himself at his old junkyard casino (yes, casino. More on this later). The only problem is that his old partner, Carface (the latest in the movie’s series of I See What You Did There’s), doesn’t want to split the profits with Charlie anymore. So after entirely longer than is necessary for a movie called All Dogs Go To Heaven, Carface has Charlie bumped off by running him over with a car.

Charlie arrives in heaven pissed off that he was killed, so he jacks the pocket watch that keeps him in heaven and hurls himself back to Earth, with the cryptic warning that he “can never come back.” While trying to get revenge on Carface (I forget the exact details), Charlie and Itchy stumble on a little girl named Anne-Marie, who apparently can talk to animals (at one point in the movie she is literally a horse whisperer). Carface uses Anne-Marie to get an edge in gambling, so Charlie and Itchy liberate her from captivity and (why not) use her for the exact same purpose, but with the white-lie that they’ll use the money to help the poor. All the while, Charlie grows from reluctant caretaker of Anne-Marie to eventually growing to care about her.

Insert obligatory "awwwww..." here.

The story itself is a bit suspect in places, but still works reasonably well, due in large part to its cast. Burt Reynolds has a roguish charm as Charlie, and Dom DeLuise is fairly good as Itchy (apparently the two had been in movies together before, and it shows in their banter, which was allegedly improvised in places). The real shining star, though, is the late Judith Barsi, who gives Anne-Marie a sincere childish innocence that never crosses the line into aggravating; that she never got a chance to become an even bigger star is a tragedy that is best not discussed here (though I would like to point out that this is the second time in two showings where someone brings up her father having shot her; why this movie?!).

By contrast, Carface is somewhat of a rarity among movie villains in that he is neither very threatening, nor charismatic, nor really any fun at all. Even the most ho-hum of Disney villains at least had the good sense to be comic relief; as harmless as Prince John or Madam Mim were, they chewed the scenery enough for me to feel that their presence was worthwhile. Carface seems to be cut from generic gang-muscle cloth, whose only memorable lines in the film are variations of “Shaddap,” and generally seems very boring, despite the fact that he actually succeeds in killing our hero.

And on the other side of that coin is… Charles Nelson Riley. Yes, "Match Game’s" Charles Nelson Riley pokes his head in for his first of several Aggravating Don Bluth Villain Sidekicks, this time as Killer, Carface’s lackey. He may have won the Tour de France with two flat tires and a missing chain, but he sure as heck can’t sell the stuttering, unfunny characters he’s given, and it’s made even worse by all of the flailing that goes into his animation. This movie’s Jar Jar was pretty hard to identify until Killer rolled in, but he was a shoe-in after that.

Killer and Carface, the Jar Jar and the cliche...

All Dogs looks reasonably cleaner than the previous Bluth movies; not as intricately detailed as The Secret of NIMH or realistically-moving as The Land Before Time, but it generally feels less cluttered and the characters are easier to identify. Even the waves splashes that I generally don’t like in his movies look better here. The arbitrary color change from the last movie is toned down as well (though it still bugs me that his palette is mostly limited to colors not found outside of Easter eggs).

Taste the rainbow.

On the other hand, most of the flossy effects animation that was mercifully absent from The Land Before Time return with a vengeance here; the sparks, the smoke (oh! the smoke), and a prevalence of DRIPPING THINGS distract from the rest of the film’s otherwise solid presentation. Also, this is the movie where I first really started to notice Bluth giving all of his characters dimples. Seriously, I get why Anne-Marie has them, but I hate the way almost every character in this movie immediately crinkles whenever the corners of their mouths move. And of course, the slo-mo flailing that’s been present from the beginning is still in full effect.

Seriously, it's like this.

The music was decent enough (some sort of jazzy, bluesy stuff that sounds reasonably period), but the songs are dull at best (and fairly painful at worst). Most of them are sing-talk stuff that wouldn’t be out of place in a Rex Harrison movie (to all Rex Harrison fans, he may be able to act, but rattling off the lyrics like a limerick isn’t the same as singing). The worst of them, “What’s Mine Is Yours,” shoehorns bad songwriting, singing, and cutesy (Skittles-colored) puppies into an awful mishmash of edutainment that had me checking both my watch and my blood sugar.

I think what bothers me the most about this movie is its inability to commit to an anthropomorphic style. Charlie and Itchy are obviously modeled after very specific breeds of dogs (they even act like dogs for humans), but most of the dogs in the casino are running around in dog-sized shirts, drinking their dog-sized beer, no doubt gambling away their dog-sized mortgages.

This notion is probably a bit hypocritical of me; I love The Rescuers Down Under, which is another film that uses a parallel, smaller-sized world to good effect. The difference is in the art style: Down Under made no pretensions to their mice being anything like regular mice anymore than An American Tail did earlier, but All Dogs seems to want it both ways, with their dogs as both man’s best friend AND hard drinkin’ con men. There’s too much human stuff for these guys to ever be thought of as pets. Perhaps I’m reading a bit too into this, but for a species of animals without opposable thumbs, they sure seem to have a lot of toys.

There's something here that's not quite right.

But never mind. The movie ultimately "works" because its heart is in the right place. It may get a touch saccharine near the end, but it does so with sincerity, and I can’t fault a movie for getting emotional without talking down to the audience. That said, I don’t feel like this is worth putting into rotation beyond an initial rent, unless there’s some nostalgia behind it (which I had none of). Perhaps some will be more forgiving of the lukewarm songs or odd setting, and instead focus on the character relationships and story progression. Which is perfectly alright. This is not a bad movie, but one I don’t particularly enjoy enough to see a third time around.

Jordyn's Comments

And welcome to yet another blog post about another children's film Jordyn didn't watch in her childhood! Yes, just like The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, and The Land Before Time, Don Bluth's fourth film was not veiwed regularly in my formative years. And, yet again, dear readers, you are in for a exciting roller coaster review of impartiality.

I lost my All Dogs Go to Heaven virginity just a week ago. As far as I know, this one has a pretty big nostalgia based fan group. It's considered to be "the last good one" in the Don Bluth canon, before the sudden nose dive of Rock-A-Doodle.

My biggest exposure to this movie comes from the trope "The Big Lipped Alligator Moment" named by the Nostalgia Chick for "a scene that comes right the fuck outta nowhere, has little to no bearing whatsoever on the plot, is way over the top in terms of ridiculousness even in the context of the movie, and after it happens, no one ever speaks of it again." It's named after the superfluous scene at the end of the movie where Charlie sings with a big lipped alligator for no apparent reason. So other than the brief clips of this scene, I knew nothing of this movie, not even the plot.

A BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!!

Forgive me, but I've misplaced my page of notes on this film. However, it's more of a blessing than a burden. This way I'll only write about what I remember! What really stuck with me!! But, sadly, that's not much. I semi enjoyed All Dogs Go to Heaven as much as I semi enjoyed the others, to be sure.

The most enjoyable thing (for me) about ADGTH is the plot. It's not necessarily "clever" but it's certainly original. Really, I mean, can you think of anything similar to this? First of all, Charlie B. Barkin is a selfish, greedy dickweed with few redeeming qualities. Considering most heroes/heroines of child-friendly fiction are Pure of Heart and Kind to All, this is a pretty interesting move. Then, he's killed off in the first act. It's not everyday you see the main character killed let alone murdered...by a supposed friend!

Even though there are scads of movies about a dead character "not being ready" who tries to make up for their past misdeeds by getting a second chance at life, this is not that movie. Charlie rejects Heaven to seek revenge on his murderer. He does this by stealing little orphan Anne-Marie who is a combination of Snow White and The Rescuers's Penny. Like Andrew said, her talents of talking to animals are exploited to gain fast cash for Charlie's new casino.

Anne-Marie, in fact, is somewhere between Snow White and Penny: sweetly annoying and annoyingly sweet. What's the difference, you ask? One is a Snickers bar and the other is a Snickers deepfried in sugar, wrapped in a funnel cake, drizzled with honey. You get the picture. At times I was annoyed by Anne-Marie's cloying, simpering nature but something makes me not hate her. Perhaps its Judith Barsi's voice acting or perhaps it's pity.

Simple math.

The only song I really enjoyed was Anne-Marie's "Soon You'll Come Home". (All the other songs are fucking terrible, if you ask me). Like many songs sung by movie orphans, this one is about her desire for parents. And by the end of the movie, Anne-Marie is indeed adopted by a nice couple who show up several time throughout the movie to give her waffles and hope. During the song, we see several still photographs of what her Anne-Marie's life would be like if she had a family and wasn't being used by a money-hungry, revenge thirsty zombie dog.

My hands down favorite moment in All Dogs Go to Heaven is near the end when Charlie is explaining to Itchy that he cares nothing for Anne-Marie and that she is simply a tool in his grand scheme. Of course, Anne-Marie is listening and slowly descends the stairs, hearing every word. She is in the back ground and her face and reaction is blurred until Charlie finishes his rant. It's the first moment of this kind in the Bluth canon that has actually sparked a reaction like this from me.

Of course, Charlie is redeemed and returned to heaven after sacrificing his life/immortal soul to save sweet Anne-Marie. (Until the sequel...oh yeah, there's a sequel. Did you doubt it?) The two have a sweet goodbye moment and all is set right in the world.

Since The Land Before Time was entirely devoid of romance (children and different species, not much to go off of), I will gladly take this time to discuss the "romance" in this flick. Yes, there is a tad bit of romantic possibility in ADGTH. Unfortunately it's kind of as substantial as Justin's flirting with Mrs. Brisby (grrrr) and Tony and Bridget's disgustingly fast union. Towards the end, Charlie and Anne-Marie visit a collie named Flo (voiced by Loni Anderson, Burt Reynolds's then wife). It's revealed that Charlie isn't a total drinking, gambling jerk. He takes time to visit with the Skittle puppies that Flo takes care of. (They're not hers though! Oh no! Our adult heroine must be pure if she is to be with our hero!)

There's a possibility...

Anyway, they could be "just friends" and more power to the producers for showing an entirely platonic relationship between a single adult female and a single adult male. But if you ask me, there's just a little too much flirtation between the two. However, nothing comes of it...ever. In the theatrically released (no shit!) sequel, Charlie hooks up with some other bitch and Flo is no where to be found.

In conclusion, All Dogs Go to Heaven has its moments of utter irritation (which for my sanity, I've avoided blogging about) but also posesses moments of tenderness. The originality of the film makes me appreciate it (not like it, appreciate it) more than the others so far. Don't get me wrong, if I had to pick one to watch in my leisure time, this wouldn't be it, but for the sake of its originality, I actually understand the nostalgic fuss over this one.

Songs

"You Can't Keep a Good Dog Down" - Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise (Charlie and Itchy)
"Welcome to Doing Whatever You Wish" - Melba Moore
"Let Me Be Surprised" - Melba Moore and Burt Reynolds (Annabelle and Charlie)
"What's Mine is Yours" - Burt Reynolds (Charlie)
"Soon You'll Come Home" - Lana Beeson (Anne-Marie)
"Let's Make Music Together" - Ken Page and Burt Reynolds (King Gator and Charlie)
"Hallelujah" - Candy Devine
"Love Survives" - Irene Cara and Freddie Jackson

Thumbelina (1994)

2010-10-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

Title: Thumbelina
Year: 1994
Rated: G
Run Time: 1 hour, 26 minutes

StarringJodi Benson as Thumbelina
Gino Conforti as Jacquimo
Gary Imhoff as Prince Cornelius
Charo as Mama Toad

Joe Lynch as Grendel
Gilbert Gottfried as Mr. Beetle

Carol Channing as Mrs. Fieldmouse
John Hurt as Mr. Mole

Plot: A tiny, thumb-sized girl is pursued by a toad, a beetle, and a mole as she tries to find her way back home and to her fairy prince.
Based on: “Thumbelina" by Hans Christian Anderson
Setting: France

Tagline: Follow your heart and nothing is impossible.

Andrew's First Viewing: August 28th, 2010, courtesy of Movie Lovers in Bozeman; bits and pieces prior to this

Jordyn's First Viewing: In theatres sometime in the spring of 1994. (Oh. Yeah.)

Jordyn's Comments

Okay, I won't beat around the bush, Don Bluth's Thumbelina is one of my favorite movies of all time. I already wrote a review for it on my blog, Popped Density, so forgive my lazy ass as I plagiarize myself.

You might assume that I will blame my love for this movie on nostalgia. Surely, growing up with a bad movie is like a Get Out of Jail Free card when someone demands your reasoning for liking it. I did see this movie in theaters and loved it. Being a six year old girl, I loved all things princess and fairy and with the love songs and the magic, glavin! But after that initial first viewing, the home video was not purchased or rented or even watched at a friend's house. No, I didn't seen Thumbelina again until it was on Toon Disney in the summer of 2002. Nostalgia and curiosity got the better of me so I watched it. And I fell in love.

2002...yeah, that would make me about fourteen. Fourteen. An age when I should have been going on dates and getting felt up during the latest Josh Hartnett movie. But, oh no, not me. I spent my evenings doing my homework while this crap played in the background...every damn night. (I alternated between this and Some Kind of Wonderful). At fourteen, my pessimistic side had yet to materialize so an external conflict romance written and produced for dullard children satisfied the unsexualized side of my romantic whims.

Thumbelina is based on the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale by the same name. It is fleshed out a bit...Disneyfied (ahem, I mean, Bluthanized), if you will. It begins with a French swallow named Jaciquimo telling us a story of impossible romance with an impossible beginning. A lonely single woman longs for a child. She is given a magical seed by a good witch, which she plants. It grows into a flower and once it blooms, a tiny girl emerges. She is given the moniker Thumbelina, as she is, you know, no bigger than a thumb. (One wonders if she was in a different scale if her name would be Toesita or Weinerella (tee-hee)).

Weiner-ELLA, she's a funny little squirt.

However, Thumbelina is dissatisfied with her size. Like all animated heroines, she longs for true love. But how can she find it if she's the only little person in the world? Thumbelina's only outlet is fiction, where fairies (who happen to be the right size) exist. But if this is a world where young, fully clothed, post pubertal miniature girls can grow from flowers, there has to be fairies, right?

As Thumbelina is singing to herself, Cornelius, the fairy prince, manages to fly by on his pet bumblebee and become entranced by her beautiful singing voice. It's basically love at first sight for both of them. There must be a lack of fairy chicks. After some mild flirtation (and an almost kiss) Cornelius takes her on a magical "A Whole New World"-esque journey across the French countryside. He serenades her with the best song in the movie, "Let Me Be Your Wings", while flying her over a glistening, mirror like pond and a huge pumpkin and through the glittering midnight sky.

And now I'm in a diabetic coma.

So after the romancing, Cornelius hears his parents summoning him, but he promises to return to Thumbelina in the morning after he breaks the news about his new, non-fairy girlfriend. He promises to not forget her and leaves...but not before failing at two more almost kisses. (That's right, two! How can you fail three times in seven minutes?)

So since our heroine has found her one true love in the first act, there has to be some conflict to keep them separated for 60 more minutes. This comes in the form of Mama Toad, the amphibious version of Charo. After hearing Thumbelina's gorgeous singing voice, Mama Toad's son, Grendel, has fallen in love with her. Mama Toad tries to convince Thumbelina to join the family singing group and to marry her son. Although Thumbelina is tempted by fame, she wants to return to her mother and Cornelius. The toads abandon her on a lily pad, meaning to return and force her to marry Grendel.

Mexicans in sixteenth century France? Sure, why not?

Cornelius fulfills his promise and returns for his lady fair. He discovers her kidnapping and goes on a quest to find her. Back on the lily pad, Thumbelina meets Jacquimo, a romance obsessed swallow. He promises to find Cornelius's home, the Vale of the Fairies while Thumbelina continues on foot to her house. Jacquimo is convinced that "following your heart" is the quickest way home. Not flying. No, it's definitely not flying.

Both Cornelius and Grendel are on the hunt for Thumbelina, but she continues to walk at a glacial pace...in the wrong direction. She is commandeered by Mr. Beetle who, through forest gossip, heard about her voice and convinces her to sing at the Beetle Ball. However, her Elizabethan butterfly costume is removed and she is revealed to be an ugmo because she lacks feelers and wings.

DOG!

Our heroine's confidence is shattered. Not to mention that she is lost in the middle of the woods as autumn turns to winter. But Jacquimo arrives and teaches an important lesson: if the man you love thinks you're beautiful, then no one else's opinion matters. But if he doesn't, you're fucked. Again, Captain Useless doesn't fly Thumbelina to her home, or steer her in the right direction. He keeps searching for the Vale of the Fairies. Winter comes rather quickly. (Wasn't it only yesterday the fairies were golding the leaves?) Thumbelina finds shelter in an old shoe while Cornelius ends up frozen in a pond and presumed dead.

Thumbelina is discovered by Mrs. Fieldmouse who brings her into her underground home and informs her of Cornelius's death. Thumbelina is distraught but owes a debt to Mrs. Fieldmouse and accompanies her on visit to Mr. Mole. While visiting him, Thumbelina discovers Jacquimo in his tunnel, unconscious and with a thorn in his wing. Despite her opposing cheeriness, Mr. Mole also has the hots for her and bribes Mrs. Fieldmouse to convince Thumbelina to marry him...which she does. Through song!

M is for Money, O-L-E!!!

Later that night, Thumbelina sneaks into the tunnel and visits Jacquimo's corpse. But unfortunately for us, he's not dead and lectures her for giving up hope and settling for Mr. Mole. Thumbelina wants no more of his optimism, even though he flies off to look for the Vale of Fairies without letting her escape. Meanwhile a group of bugs find Cornelius and thaw him out on Thumbelina's wedding day. On the way down the aisle, she has visions of Cornelius singing the second reprise of "Let Me Be Your Wings" and cannot go through with it.

At that moment, Grendel storms in to capture Thumbelina. As does Cornelius to rescue her. And the beetle is also there. But in the confusion, Thumbelina manages to escape without seeing Cornelius. She climbs out of the underground lair just as Jacquimo comes to inform her he's found the Vale of the Fairies. She gets on his back (FINALLY) and flies with him. Jacquimo convinces her to sing and she awakens the Vale of the Fairies to spring. Even though she refused to marry someone she didn't love, Thumbelina's optimism is gone and knows Cornelius will not rise from the dead. However, he returns just in time to finish their duet. They kiss and Thumbelina is transformed into a fairy (sure, why the fuck not?) and they live happily ever after.

Fade to black, show the names, play that happy song.

Let the defense begin. First of all, I love the music. The songs and score were written by Barry Manilow...which sounds like the punchline to a joke. I know that this type of music isn't everyone's cup of tea, but my favorite band is the Carpenters so...That and it's blatantly ripping off the Disney style. Despite my opinions, Mrs. Fieldmouse's song "Marry the Mole" won the Razzie for worst original song. Personally, I think the worst song is "The Beetle Ball" but whatever. I truly think "Let Me Be Your Wings" is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and I don't mind it's four reprises. Not. One. Bit.

Although it's beaten into your head that "you're sure to do impossible things if you follow your heart" this is not the theme. The theme is true love is irreplaceable and trying to replace it is futile. Let me explain. So up until she meets her prince, Thumbelina thinks there is no one else her size...which translates to "I'm going to die old and single just like my mother." When Cornelius shows up she finds in him the only person she could ever love. After she learns of his "death", she states "he was the only one--" and then is cut off by Mrs. Fieldmouse. She probably would have finished with "my size". But "the only one my size" translates to "the only one who could make my life complete." The size issue is just a physical embodiment of this point. You're true love might as well be the only one "your size". Marrying someone the "wrong size" (or of a different species like in this movie) is wrong.

That's another theme in Thumbelina. Don't settle. It may be practical for Thumbelina to marry a rich old mole if it's impossible for her to ever go back to her home. It's a dog eat dog world out there, and she can't rely on the good graces of woodland creatures forever. But she knows that marrying for money will never make her happy, only love will. That's why it's better to stay miserable and alone rather than replace the irreplaceable.

Perhaps I'm stretching it a bit. But I doubt you can find these themes in Bluth's other movies. Compared to the other ones, I feel that Thumbelina is the least of a mind screw. It's very faithful to it's source material despite a few changes. In the original, Thumbelina doesn't meet the unnamed fairy prince until the very end when she is dropped off by the swallow, who she first meets in the mole's cave. I suppose a better version without glaring plot holes (I'll let Andrew cover that) could be made, but this is pretty damn good. Easily the best Bluth movie. There, I said it.

Andrew's Comments:

And so with this entry, I’ve passed the opening reigns to Jordyn, and now I get to experience the feeling of having most of my major points already covered. Joy and rapture. Anyway, onto today’s entry: Don Bluth’s adaptation of the oft-loved (though completely missed by me in childhood) Thumbelina. This movie is a pretty earnest attempt to mimic the success of Disney renaissance movies such as The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast (“cash-in” is a phrase I’ve never agreed with; it brings to mind someone pulling a lever, and the product is delivered immediately in a ready state, similar to the titular heroine of today’s movie). Something was lost in translation, however, and this movie is simply not very good. Not worthy of ire to the extent of Rock-A-Doodle (which, it has been established, I have a personal vendetta against), but certainly something I would avoid watching on my own time.

Being that Jordyn and I have two rather different opinions on this movie, let’s start with what we agree on: “The Beetle Ball” is indeed a much worse song than “Marry The Mole.” “Marry The Mole” is indeed ri-doggone-diculous in its exceptional lyricism (“His breath may be alarming / but he’s charming, for a troll / dearie, *woodblock* marry the mole!”), it’s sung by Carol Channing, who can at least sell the bloody thing. “The Beetle Ball,” by contrast, is Gilbert Godfrey rapping. Let me repeat that for effect: Gilbert Godfrey rapping. And yes, it is as good as it sounds. This one wins by default.

It's a fact.

I also rather appreciate the thematic analysis that Jordyn provided earlier, which suggests that the movie isn’t quite as vapid as it looks (and sounds, and acts, etc). “Don’t sell yourself short” (bahaha) is a road not necessarily taken by many movies these days, and it’s a pretty worthy message to be sending to kids. That said, I’m not a fan of the actual execution, but Thumbelina’s heart certainly is in the right place.

I think this, ultimately, is why this film narrowly avoids a poison-pen ass-whupping from me. It tries so incredibly hard to please, and adheres to so many of the established fairy tale movie conventions, and is so convinced that its story and characters are worthwhile that I just can’t bring myself to hate on it as much as I could. Sure, I can definitely pick some nits and laugh at its expense (“Ha ha! They think this is good character development! What a riot!”), but castigating it for being what it is is something that I cannot do in good conscience.

That said, let’s pick those nits! My biggest pet peeve (though, again, it ultimately redeems the movie) is the overall tone. It reminds me of a parody of these sorts of movies, of Shrek were it less self-aware. More specifically, though, it reminds me of the beginning of the “Mickey and the Beanstalk” portion of Fun and Fancy Free (which I happen to think is absolutely hilarious), where everyone is bouncing and singing and being jolly because everything is SO DAMN HAPPY. Here is one movie where the patented DB flouncing wasn’t such an issue for me; I often imagined the voice actors flouncing around in the booth while recording their characters’ lines.

Simply SCRUMPTIOUS!

Speaking of the characters, this movie certainly has a lot of them—toads and beetles and horseflies and field vermin abound in this film, but not many of them made an impact on me. My favorite character may have had the least to do: Mr. Mole, who slinks around in his fabulously wealthy estate, acting like a smaller, ruffled-collar Eeyore. Mr. Mole, however, is voiced by John Hurt (yes, that John Hurt), whose wonderfully full-of-character voice suggests much more depth to Mr. Mole than the movie ever gives him space for.

And the music… oy, the music. As we have mentioned, Thumbelina’s score and original songs were composed by Barry Manilow, who is sadly not on “Copa Cabana” form in this project. Many of the songs sound like parodies of Broadway By Way Of Disney songs, especially the opening number, where the farm animals bob their heads, stomp their feet, and sing their hearts out to ThumbelinAAAAAAA! The only good song (and I use the term loosely) is “Let Me Be Your Wings;” the movie also seems aware of its quality compared to the others, and reprises it no less than four times (seriously, take a shot every time there’s a musical number with “da da daaaa, da daaaa” in it). The score is pleasant enough, I suppose, but it too wants nothing more than to remind us what a great song “Wings” is.

I also find the relationship between Thumbelina and Cornelius to be a bit hokey. They’re immediately smitten with each other upon making eye contact, a sort of “We’ll be married in the morning!” situation, but not tongue in cheek. Also, because there’s no learning curve with their romantic feelings, the movie has to work overtime to keep them apart, and as a result, we never really learn much about Cornelius (perhaps it’s for the best, though—guy’s more vapid than she is).

This guy swashes surprisingly few buckles.

A few more things and we’re done. I was going to dedicate an entire paragraph to how much Jacquimo annoys the PISS out of me, but I was getting too worked up, and decided his character flaws and pants-on-head-ridiculousness was pretty self-evident (what is it with Don Bluth and effeminate, singing pigeons anyways?). Speaking of Jacquimo, I’ve laid-off discussing the plot, because picking apart the story for a movie like this is a sure way to make a smug asshole out of one’s self, but seriously, couldn’t most of this movie been avoided if Thumbelina just got on J-Crew’s back and flies home like she does later in the film? Lastly, why the hell does Thumbelina get wings at the end? Perhaps it’s implied that she was a fairy the whole time, and that her wings just hadn’t come yet? Maybe someone just needed to throw the deus ex machina lever.

This movie is bad. However, it’s not the kind of bad that deserves a painful fate of wailing and gnashing of teeth, for it’s the kind of bad that can be good, if you squint hard enough. As evidenced by my colleague above, this movie has brought joy to many Girls the world over, and I can’t begrudge the movie's sincerity in reaching out to tell its story, no matter how garbled it turned out. That said, please don’t make me watch the damn thing again.

Songs
"Follow Your Heart" (Intro) - Gino Conforti (Jacquimo)
"Thumbelina" - Chorus
"Soon" - Jodi Benson (Thumbelina)
"Let Me Your Wings" - Gary Imhoff (Prince Cornelius) and Jodi Benson
"On the Road" - Charo (Mama Toad), Jodi Benson, and Chorus
"Follow Your Heart" - Gino Conforti and Chorus
"Yer Beautiful, Baby" - Randy Chrenshaw (Mr. Beetle)
"Soon" (Reprise) - Barbara Cook (Thumbelina's Mother)
"Sun" ("Let Me Be Your Wings" Reprise I) - Jodi Benson
"Marry the Mole" - Carol Channing (Mrs. Fieldmouse)
"Let Me Be Your Wings" (Reprise II) - Gary Imhoff
"Let Me Be Your Wings" (Reprise III) - Jodi Benson

"Let Me Be Your Wings" (End Credits) - Barry Manilow and Debra Byrd

Rock-a-Doodle (1991)

2010-10-04T00:58:00.000-07:00

Title: Rock-a-Doodle
Year: 1991
Rated: G
Run Time: 1 hour, 17 minutes

Starring
Glen Campbell as Chanticleer
Tobey Scott Ganger as Edmond
Phil Harris as Narrator/Patou
Christopher Plummer as Grand Duke

Sandy Duncan as Peepers
Will Ryan as Stuey

Charles Nelson Reilly as Hunch
Ellen Greene as Goldie
Sorell Brook as Pinky

Plot: When a rooster is revealed to not be the one in charge of making the sun rise, he goes to the city and becomes a famous rock star.
Based on: Original screenplay.
Setting: An American farm...sometime in the 50's (judging by the telephone).

Tagline: The rousing, rollicking adventure of the world's first rockin' rooster!

Andrew's First Viewing: Early 90's daycare

Jordyn's First Viewing: Early 90's, somehow, someway.

Andrew's Comments

As we come to the midway point in our Don Bluth retrospective, we reach the beginning and end of several paradigms: this is the last movie I grew up watching (after this, I enter the realm of Oh, This Is What I Missed), and the first Bluth film of the 90’s. It’s also the first in a rather long line of what are considered to be Bluth’s bad films, a trend that won’t let up until considerably later in the decade.

Now let me preface this entry by saying that just because I grew up around this movie doesn’t mean that I have nostalgia for it. No sir. This is one of those films that I was subjected to ad nauseum while in day care because the lady taking care of us couldn’t be bothered to get new tapes. I actually think I have anti-nostalgia for it, a curious sensation of being irrationally angered whenever anything that looks like a kitten in a Davy Crockett outfit wanders into view (see the sound that makes you punch infants for a similar idea).

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Rock-A-Doodle is Don Bluth’s fifth movie, and the story of a rooster called Chanticleer (French for “rooster,” though not the most obvious name for a country-western protagonist voiced by Glen Campbell). Chanticleer’s job is to crow and wake the sun, but one day, Chanticleer is driven to distraction by a fight and the sun rises without him. Naturally, everyone thinks he’s a fraud and laughs him off the farm. What they didn’t know is that the sun went back to bed after checking on the fight, and now the sun won’t rise until they find Chanticleer or they punish the mosquito.

And if you ever come back, we'll kill ya!

The movie then totally Tarantino’s us by revealing that this whole setup is actually a bedtime story being read to an insufferable snot rag named Edmund, who the movie will spend the next 75 minutes trying to convince us is cute. Edmund’s mother is called away to help deal with the torrential rain plaguing their farm when he gets a bright idea: the rain will stop if he can find Chanticleer! He goes to the window and calls for Chanticleer, not realizing that a) Chanticleer is a storybook character and b) he’s probably not near enough to hear Edmund calling him anyway, what with being evicted and all.

No matter. The Grand Duke of Owls (Christopher Plummer, in what is surely not the brightest moment of his career) turns up to inform the (live action) Edmund that the (animated) Chanticleer will never return, and then turns Edmund into a (animated) kitten under the pretense of wanting to eat him. Just then (boy, this write-up is taking a while to get off the ground), a dog named Patou jumps in and acts as a diversion, giving Edmund time to drive the owl away with a flashlight (wuss).

Beware of those hearts, stars, and rainbows, clover and balloons...

The rest of the movie is spent looking for Chanticleer in “The City” while the animals back on the farm do their best to not get eaten. The story is kinda strange, and though I don’t think it’s as bad as it could be, I did think it was a bit redundant to have Patou act as the narrator throughout the movie (“She was falling in love for real,” he says right before another character and Chanticleer sing a love ballad together).

There were a few odd points for me, though. I’ve always been hung up on the sun not coming up for a while, and people flat-out not noticing. Does it stay night the entire duration Chanticleer’s gone, or is it just overcast the whole time? Where are the farm characters in relation to Edmund’s mom and brothers? Even without looking into it this far, the film has a few odd narrative choices, such as the aforementioned redundant narrator, and not one but two iron helps us play moments.

Where the movie starts going tits-up for me is with the introduction of Edmund. As I not-so-subtly hinted at above, I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE THIS CHARACTER. I loathe his woe-is-me-I’m-too-little attitude, cringe at the way his face is animated, and, above all, HATE THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE. Remember in the last entry how Jordyn made the distinction between sweetly annoying and annoyingly sweet? This kid’s just annoying; he does just about everything wrong that Judith Barsil did right in crafting a sympathetic child character.

You’d think with an unlikable protagonist, the movie would throw us some slack in the way of interesting supporting characters. You’d be dead wrong. Here is a movie that, among other things, has the dubious honor of having TWO Jar Jar’s. The first is Snipes, a magpie voiced by Eddie Deezen (whom you may have heard as Mandark from “Dexter’s Laboratory”), a character who is loud, obnoxious, and contributes nothing to the story. Literally, nothing. He doesn’t have a pivotal moment where his annoyingness results in a positive moment for our heroes (even Jar Jar destroyed some battle droids on accident), and is basically dead, detestable weight throughout the whole movie.

The second is the Charles Nelson Riley-voiced Hunch, who by now is two-for-two on annoying villain sidekicks. Maybe CNR didn’t think that Killer from All Dogs was obnoxious enough, because Punch is one of those hyper-incompetent minions who can’t help but make large, loud, exaggerated movements before being arbitrarily maimed. He also has the “funny” character tick where he constantly is mumbling words that end in “-ation” under his breath. Charming.

Many of the other characters fall flat as well. Peepers, a bespectacled, lisping mouse is the stereotypical “smart” character, but she doesn’t contribute much besides acting smug and calling Edmund a “ ‘fraidy cat” (there’s also some weird, inter-species sexual tension between the two, which Jordyn may or may not get into). Patou, who is voiced by The Jungle Book’s Phil Harris, is probably the best of the bunch, but he’s given a running gag about how he can’t tie his shoes that sort of gets in the way of his character. And the less said about Goldie and her pseudo-Lina Lamont persona, the better.

Thrown on this bunch of woeful character-excuses is an absolute s@$#-storm of awful songs. You know those parodies of animated musicals where people sing tunelessly about very banal and mundane things? That’s this movie. In particular, I was miffed by the Bouncer’s Song (which lasted all of 15 seconds and consisted primarily of the word “bounce”) and Twittley Dee (which is also about eight bars long and tuneless). With the exception of two Chanticleer songs (and your mileage may vary depending on your affection for country western and Elvis), the music is uniformly terrible.

An Oscar bait song if there ever was one.

Not all is awful, though. The movie looks pretty good; it’s clear that Bluth had gotten a handle on his style by this time, and everything looks reasonably clean and well-drawn. Even the water effects, which usually irk me in these movies, look about as good as they can, and there are some fancy tricks throughout, like a bit with reflections on a window. In particular, there’s a tornado at the very end of the movie that’s fairly impressive, and the live action/animation transition that happens at the beginning is kinda neat.

Maybe he hasn't lost his animation touch yet.

In all, this movie is technically sound on many levels, but is spoiled by bad writing, awful characters, and terrible songs. Plus, it just gets me riled up. Good animated movies are pretty transcendent of age, but bad ones just get under your skin in ways I can’t adequately describe. I’m sure there are worse movies in the canon (from everything I’ve heard about Troll, anyway), but I think this is the movie that just pisses me off the most.

Jordyn's Comments

All right! Half way through! Unlike the four previous films in our little self-imposed journey, this one was actually a part of my childhood. (I know, I know. Let’s break out the Santana champ.) I don’t have specific memories of actually watching the blessed thing, but my cousin Raymond and I would sing “Rock-a-Doooo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODLE!!!” into running electric fans whenever possible. (Try it. It sounds awesome.)

So through this family bonding I had fond, nostalgic memories associated with this film and I was actually looking forward to watching the damn thing. Nonetheless, even my low level of nostalgia could not change the fact that this movie is, indeed, shit. Like so many other wayward souls, I actually thought this movie would be enjoyable just because it was once upon a time.

Andrew (just because he went first…but not for much longer, bitch!) pretty much covered the basics of Rock-a-Doodle’s all encompassing awfulness and now I am here to nitpick. So, I’ll start with what I know best: sub-par, tacked on romantic plotlines.

As you know, Chanticleer, the manliest cock this side of the road (heh, cock) is dejected by all his friends on the farm for not making the sun rise, and then takes his talents elsewhere and become the animal kingdom’s Elvis. Chanticleer finds it lonely at the top and wants someone to love him tender at night. He bitches to Pinky, his manager, who comes up with a plan.

Enter Goldie, one of the worst love interests to ever grace celluloid, animated or otherwise. She is one of Pinky’s chorus girls, seethingly jealous of Chanticleer’s fame. Pinky somehow bribes her to pretend to fall in love with the King and keep him “happy” and away from Edmund. She performs an impromptu duet with him and then IN THE VERY NEXT SCENE, the two end up “kissin’ and cooin’” on a giant couch swing. And as Patou narrates to us, “Goldie was only supposed to pretend fall in love with Chanticleer, but she was falling in love with him for real.”

Drink your f%$@ing milk!!

I know this movie is already full of conflict what with the sun not rising, and the Great Flood coming, and the Grand Duke twirling is moustache, and Edmund and the gang relentlessly searching for Chanticleer, and Chanticleer’s self loathing and doubt, but would it be too much to ask for an actual romantic plotline? Could we maybe show Goldie falling for Chanticleer? Could we see her struggle maybe? Why does she do it too, other than him being handsome, famous, talented, and richer than God?

I really hate Goldie. Just as Chanticleer is a caricature of Elvis, Goldie is one of Marilyn Monroe: sexy, soft spoken, ditzy, and gold digging. But at least Marilyn brought some heart and humor to her characters. Goldie is just plain irritating. She represents everything that is wrong with “sexy animated heroines”. As extreme as Jessica Rabbit is, at least we can admire her for liking a goofy ass bunny instead of a super hunk with shoulders wider than a goal post. There's that whole "opposites attract" thing going on there. But the Chanticleer-Goldie romance is too easy, like all of Bluth's romances.

However, there is a brief little moment where he's pissed at her for keeping the fact that Edmund and et al are trying to find him. But through the gratuitous chase scene this is forgotten and the two end up living happily ever after on the farm. (What happened to your career, Goldie??)

Oh God, does this movie have faults but for my own sanity, I must not write about them. Andrew covered it anyway and I won’t doubly bitch. Instead I will lodge my complaints in list form.

1. The similarity of Fievel and Edmund’s floppy hats and dopey sleeves.

2. This wildly inappropriate flying phallus. (It’s even pink for Christ’s sakes!)

3. Any time Snipes eats.

4. Any time Patou narrates.

5. Or fusses with his shoe laces.

It's not all bad though. Personally, I enjoy those "Iron Helps Us Play" moments when a character is completely downtrodden and they hear snippets of previously recited dialogue to perk them up and get the job done. This movie has two which might be over kill to some, but then again the movie has two heroes, both dealing with a lack of confidence. Sometimes the only way to gain strength is repeat the positive (and sometimes negative) things others have said.

"After all...tomorrow is another day!"

The quality drop in Bluth’s films is definitely apparent by now. Even his fans can recognize this. I wanted to say something in my All Dogs Go to Heaven review simply because we went from super smart lab rats to Jewish emigrating mice to orphaned dinosaurs to zombie dogs. One of these things is not like the other in tone. But I figured this argument was best saved for Rock-a-Doodle since it’s the biggest mindfuck (so far).

It feels like Don Bluth was off his rocker a bit by now. Disney had kicked his ass at the box office in the All Dogs Go to Heaven vs. The Little Mermaid box office death match. Once he had seen The Rescuers Down Under in all its CAPS glory and heard that the next animated feature was an adaptation of "Beauty and the Beast", I can only assume he said “What the fuck?” and threw in the towel.

They're coming to take him away...

Songs
"Sun Do Shine" - Glen Campbell (Chanticleer)

"We Hate the Sun" - Christopher Plummer (Grand Duke)

"Come Back to You" - Glen Campbell
"Rock-A-Doodle" - Glen Campbell
"Bouncers' Theme Song" - Chorus
"Tweedle Te Dee" - Christopher Plummer
"Treasure Hunting Fever" - Glen Campbell
"Sink or Swim" - Ellen Greene (Goldie)
"Kiss n' Coo" - Glen Campbell and Ellen Greene
"Back to the Country" - Glen Campbell
"The Owls' Picnic" - Christoper Plummer
"Tyin' Your Shoes" - Phil Harris (Patou)

P.S. One final note: Rock-a-Doodle was released on DVD back in the early 2000's but has since gone out of print. Even the VHS Andrew and I rented from the video store was bootleg with a Xeroxed label taped on. It's ironic how this awful film is in such high demand and that a used DVD version on Amazon goes for $30. I guess Nostalgia is a crazy bitch goddess. Fear not, dear readers, for the whole thing is viewable on Youtube!

The Land Before Time (1988)

2010-08-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

Title: The Land Before Time

Year: 1988

Rated: G

Run Time: 1 hour, 9 minutes

Starring

Gabriel Damon as Littlefoot

Candace Hutson as Cera

Judith Barsi as Ducky

Will Ryan as Petrie

Helen Shaver as Littlefoot's Mother

Pat Hingle as The Narrator/Rooter

Plot: Five orphan dinosaurs travel the ruins of their world, while grieving the loss of their families and banding together to face the odds of survival.

Based on: Unofficially the "Rite of Spring" segment of Fantasia...and Bambi. (According to Jordyn). But officially, an original screenplay.

Setting: 65 million years ago...in a galaxy far, far away...

Tagline: A new adventure is born.

Andrew's First Viewing: Early 90's.

Jordyn's First Viewing: Technically: Early 90's at daycare. Then...Drunk: February 2010 on VHS. Sober: August 27, 2010 on DVD.

Andrew's Comments

And welcome back to Bluthanized! You may have noticed our extended leave of absence (or, judging by our number of followers, maybe you didn’t…) and are fervently demanding an explanation. All I can say to that is, “It’s a good story, but this isn’t that sort of blog.”

Anyways, what movie are we on now? Right, The Land Before Time. Jordyn and I actually attempted to do a write-up on this one several months ago, but we made the mistake of watching it right after our Heavy Metal drinking game (we took a shot whenever a new set of breasts showed up; we were pretty tanked), and we never made it through. But I digress.

Sure to souse you up!

So yeah, back to Land. This one was HEAVY on my rotation list as a kid; I think I still have the VHS somewhere at my parents’ house, complete with dog-eared cover and cheesy early-90’s commercial for Pizza Hut. Of all of Don Bluth’s movies, I feel that this is the one that has aged best for me. Yes, Ducky and Petrie can be a bit grating, and Cera is still a total douche, but as far as tone, story, and animation, this one still holds up pretty well for me.

Universal truth: boys like dinosaurs.

The Land Before Time takes place during the twilight years of the dinosaurs, right when the climate is starting to change, and edible plant-life is becoming increasingly more difficult to find. The plot concerns Little Foot (an apatosaurus), Cera (a triceratops), Ducky (a duck-billed dinosaur), Petrie (a pterodactyl; see what they’re doing with the names so far?), and Spike (a stegosaurus) making their way to The Great Valley, a mythical Zion-esque land stuffed to the gills with green food (“tree stars”), clean water, and absolutely no carnivores whatsoever (the streets are also filled with cheese, no doubt).

What makes this movie still work for me is its tonal balancing. Unlike NIMH and Tail, this movie manages to successfully walk the line between comedy and peril without straying too far into either territory; the thrilling parts never get too overbearing and the silly stuff never gets too Jeremy Crow-esque. The movie’s pacing also feels pretty good for the most part; apart from the section in between Littlefoot’s birth and the Sharptooth attack, the film goes along at a steady clip, moving from plot point to plot point and occasionally taking a break for character interaction.

A bit too much interaction sometimes...

One thing I can say about The Land Before Time that I hadn’t noticed before is how little actual movie there is. Remember that plot from two paragraphs ago? Doesn’t fully kick in until about halfway through. This movie is short; notwithstanding Dumbo (which is a scant five minutes longer than this one), this is one of the briefest full-length animated features I think I’ve seen. It takes the movie almost half of its 69-minute running time before everyone is finally together and traveling (even then, there’s still some padding).

Yet the movie does feel about as long as it needs to be, neither too long or too short (a bit off-balance, perhaps, but 69 minutes still is about right). Wikipedia tells me that 10 minutes of Sharptooth-kid-harassment footage were shaved off of the movie because Steven Spielberg and George Lucas deemed them too intense for small children, and while it would have been interesting to watch Bluth’s full creative vision of this story, I’m not sure if the movie would have played out better with the footage reinserted. There’s already a healthy dose of action here compared to the moments of levity (including two especially climactic scenes near the beginning and end of the movie), and the last thing this movie needs is the same problem that dragged down An American Tail.

Another thing I noticed during my rewatching is how over-eager the movie is to spell itself out. I certainly don’t mind the intro and closing narration segments (especially since the narrator himself is so pleasant to listen to), but the guy just chips in periodically in places that, even for kids, should be pretty self-explanatory. There’s a scene later in the film when Cera leaves the party because she had deliberately taken off down the wrong path and had to be rescued. She’s walking away, looking dejected and hurt, with a tear in her eye, and the narrator pipes up to inform us that she “was too proud to admit that she’d gone the wrong way.” What?! When did this movie all of a sudden turn into "Caillou"?! Moments like this happen throughout the entire picture.

The voicework in The Land Before Time is pretty solid. The all-child portion of the cast manages to avoid the cutsieness trap of Bluth’s previous films, ie, they’re not pants-on-head annoying (here that, Mrs. Brisby’s kids?!); even the characters that play up the cuteness still seem at least partially sincere about it, which helps soften the blow (though Petrie is still this movie’s Jar Jar). The rest of the cast does a good job helping support the action, with Helen Shaver giving a soothing, placid performance as Littlefoot’s mother, and Frank Welker (aka, every animal noise you’ve ever heard in any animated feature EVER) gnashing his teeth and roaring Godzilla-style as the Sharptooth.

The music is… well it’s… you know, after 17+ years of watching and rewatching this movie, I don’t think I could even tell you what it sounds like. I’m seriously drawing a blank on any melodies or themes; whenever I try, I keep coming back with the “Rite of Spring” parts from Fantasia. What is appealing on this movie’s soundtrack, though, is the Diana Ross song that plays over the credits, “If We Hold On Together.” It sounds exactly like a late-80’s adult contemporary ballad, but it’s rather pleasant, and lacking the awful keyboard from the ballad versions of “A Whole New World” and “Beauty And The Beast.”

By now, I’ve done my share of ranting about my distaste for some of Don Bluth’s stylistic flairs in his animation (if I haven’t yet, wait till we get to Rock-A-Doodle…), and I’m pleased to say that this movie is very conservative with them. There is pleasantly little flouncing that goes on in this movie (Bluth often tends to animate characters as though they’re in some sort of floaty, low-gravity environment), and lots of the effects animations that generally drives me nuts from his movies (sparks, smoke clouds, and foamy, sloppy-looking waves) are absent from this one.

The Bluth legacy issue that DOES appear in this movie, however, is arbitrary color-change. I think I understand how this works in principle; if you’re going to have your characters in different light, color them similar to how the background is lit. That said, there are several time throughout the picture where Ducky or Spike would, without warning or context, switch from green to tan to basically every color in the Gears Of War spectrum. Perhaps I’m spoiled by my CAPS-assisted lighting and shadows of the 90’s, but seriously, drink every time a character randomly changes color in the same scene and tell me how drunk you are by the end of this movie.

Um, why the @#%* is Ducky yellow?

On the whole, though, I think I enjoy The Land Before Time the most out of the Bluth canon (though we still have seven movies to go, four of which I haven’t seen yet). It looks good, the story is reasonably entertaining, and it’s lacking many of the cringe-worthy moments that turn me away from the last two movies we’ve done. We’ll see how this whole thing goes now that my alleged favorite is done.

Jordyn's Comments

Let me preface with this sexist statement: I am a girl who likes princesses and doesn't like dinosaurs. I didn't have older brothers to force me to watch The Land Before Time. In my house, I watched whatever child-friendly tripe I damn well pleased. My only exposure to Don Bluth's dinosaur flick was at my daycare where I had little to no control over what we watched, so that's where I first saw it. I was pretty vocal about what movies I liked and if I had really, really liked TLBT, I would have asked my mom to rent it for me. But, like I said, I like princesses, not dinosaurs, so this was not a childhood staple of mine.

One movie I did watch a lot was Fantasia, which I didn't particularly care for (still don't) and part of that has to do with the twenty minute "Rite of Spring" segment which shows the rise and fall of the dinosaurs. It was boring. Excuse me, is boring. The opening scenes of TLBT are far too reminiscent of "Rite of Spring". Deliberately so, because according to Andrew, producer Steven Spielberg wanted to make a Serious Movie about dinosaurs that made their journey sans dialogue, sans humor, and sans conscious viewers, apparently. But somewhere along the way, the characters were named and given voices and "personalities".

So since ripping off Fantasia didn't work out, the writers moved on to Bambi. Our main protagonist, a "long-neck" (gotta get that terminology right!) named Littlefoot is born to his single mother. He frolics around and is admired by bystanders. His mother teaches him about the food shortage and explains that everyone is migrating to the Great Valley, where the streets are paved with chee-eese, no doubt. But before they set out, Littlefoot's mom is killed by the "sharp-tooth" and is orphaned.

Do you think it was deliberate?

The scene is WAY TOO SIMILAR to Bambi. The dialogue is practically identical. Seriously. If you have the luxury of owning both these films, I urge you to play them back to back and see for yourself. I was half expecting to see someone jump out and say "Your mother can't be with you anymore." That doesn't quite happen, but Rooter (also the narrator) pops in and offers some sage advice on the circle of life. (TLBT was made before The Lion King, so this one is Disney's bad).

Also separated from her family is the "three-horn" bitch, Cera. Seriously, what the hell is her problem? She's like an over compensating doucher who insults everyone around him in order to prove how small his dick isn't. But she's a chick! And a child! Was this a deliberate decision to throw a spoke in the gender stereotype wheel? To have a female character embody such overtly masculine traits? Or did the producers go "Oh shit! We want girls to like our movie! Make the triceratops--" (Get it? TriCERAtops?) "--a girl!"

Whether it was deliberate or not, female asshole protagonists are pretty rare. Especially in children's programming. (Helga from "Hey Arnold!" is the only other one that comes to mind). But unlike Helga, Cera lacks an excuse for her behavior. She has a pretty good relationship with her parents, it seems, so why the need to swing her metaphorical dick around?

Granted, some people are just assholes and maybe Cera is one of them. Assholes need friends, too. And if you really think about it, you are probably friends with an asshole in spite of their assholism. But, it's an oddity when said asshole is female in a group of fictional co-ed companions.

There's one in every group.

Speaking of companions, along with Littlefoot and Cera, there is Ducky a "big-mouth". She is pretty much androgynous. Kind of like Blanky from The Brave Little Toaster. In fact, the only inclination of Ducky's femininity is that her voice actor is a little girl. Then there's nerdy Petrie, the "flyer" too afraid to fly. And to round out the group, there's Spike, the silent, gluttonous "spike-tail". Each is picked up along the way on the journey to the Great Valley.

I'll take this time to mention that this film in 69 minutes long. That's it. An hour and nine minutes. And it's approximately 30 minutes before the five main characters are introduced. The movie is literally half over. This brings me to my main issue with The Land Before Time: it's too short and nothing happens. With a road movie, the possibilities of events and one shot characters are endless, but this movie completely ignores that. It's even counter intuitive since the film is padded with superflous scenes of baby dinosaurs fighting over a cherry and a minute long flashback at the end (a.k.a. reused footage).

It's perfectly acceptable for a movie to be more character driven than plot driven, but TLBT is pretty much lacking in character development. Cera is the most interesting character by default because of her nastiness and prejudice against all the other species of dinosaurs, as per the teachings of her father. ("Three-horns do not play with long-necks!") And, through her little adventure, she discovers teamwork is important and she overcomes her bigotry.

A child psychologist's dream.

The Land Before Time teaches a lesson about working together with those who are different from you to complete a shared goal and that prejudice and segregation are based in ignorance and are perpetuated by our parents. An important and useful lesson, indeed. But isn't there a more interesting way of showing that?

With this movie, I've discovered the most bothersome aspect of Don Bluth's animation style is the changing of character scale. The characters' sizes in comparison to each other change like Alice with her magic mushrooms. I've never noticed this problem in other animated movies, only Bluth's.

As you can tell, I don't really like The Land Before Time. It was boring and there was nothing about it to particularly entertain me. The viewing experience reminded me of when I first watched The Secret of NIMH, with me being bored through most of it. Again, that could hearken back to my utter boredom with dinosaurs. This is definitely the manliest of the Bluth flicks. Of course, girls are perfectly capable of liking dinosaurs (Laura Dern in Jurassic Park, for example) otherwise, The Land Before Time franchise wouldn't have twelve sequels and a TV series to its name. I'm just saying, if I had a dick, then I probably would have liked this movie. Alas, I do not on both counts.

Songs

"If We Hold On Together" - Diana Ross

We're Not Dead!!!

2010-08-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

As of right this second, Andrew and I (Jordyn) are preparing to watch two more films in the Don Bluth canon. Last night, we succeeded in viewing The Land Before Time entirely sober, while following up with All Dogs Go to Heaven. Someday, in the not-so-distant future, we will publish a few more posts when I get internet in my apartment!

So, my dear readers, continuation of Bluthanized will be coming to a computer near you. Just remember, patience is a virtue. But we'll give you this to tie you over.

Click me for fun!

Your welcome.

An American Tail (1986)

2010-08-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

Title: An American Tail
Year: 1986
Rated: G
Run Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes

Starring
Phillip Glasser as Fievel Mousekewitz
Nehemiah Persoff as Papa Mousekewitz
Amy Green as Tanya Mousekewitz
Dom DeLuise as Tiger
Christopher Plummer as Henri

John Finnegan as Warren T. Rat
Erica Yohn as Mama Mousekewitz

Pat Musick as Tony Toponi
Cathianne Blore as Bridget

Plot: While emigrating to the United States, a young Russian mouse gets separated from his family and must relocate them while trying to survive in a new country.
Based on: Apparently an original story.
Setting: Shotska, Russia/Hamburg, Germany/New York City, 1885

Tagline: Meet Fievel. In his search to find his family, he discovered America.

Andrew's First Viewing: Some time in 1993.

Jordyn's First Viewing: Some time in the mid 90's at my daycare.

Andrew's Comments
I remember this movie. I remember watching it all the time when I was a kid. Specifically, I remember watching the sequel, Fievel Goes West, more. I also remember enjoying that one more. But since this is a retrospective on the works of Don Bluth (and Bluth didn't do West), I will be covering this one instead. If it seems like I'm putting this on the B-team, it's partially because, well, An American Tail always WAS on my B-team; I watched it many times as a kid (and enjoyed it), but never to the extent to which I enjoyed the sequel. Part of it has to do with the cleaner animation in the sequel (which was, I think, done with the aid of computers, à la the CAPS system), but the sequel also enjoyed the simpler plot and more likable characters compared to Tail.

These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along.

I talk of Tail having a more complicated plot than West. Oh does it ever. There are so many points visited and so many missed encounters with his family and so many throwaway characters introduced that, I won't lie, it was all I could do to follow this movie when I was younger. All I knew is that Fievel gets lost on his boatride to America ("There are breadcrumbs on every floor!") and tried to find his family.

I've always enjoyed the animation on this one more than in other Bluth projects, mainly because it seems a little cleaner than in some of his others. There is a lot less flailing, and the characters seem to have control over their mouths this time around. Bluth also seems to use better colors in Tail, and there are some really cool lighting effects too, such as during the opening sequence.

My one gripe with the character designs is the cats. They do NOT look like cats. They look like doggone WOLVERINES. And they roar like friggin' Mufasa from The Lion King. Maybe Bluth is making them seem tougher than they are because cats are the enemies of mice, but it makes no sense why these things would be kept as pets, and less sense why they all of a sudden turn into gambling, incompetent jokers in the second half of the movie.

Seriously, what is that thing?

One thing I appreciated this time around that I missed as a kid was all of the historical stuff that it was paralleling. The movie takes place in 1885 when there was a ton of immigration to America, and that's basically a movie of what this movie is about: a Jewish experience of immigrating to America (which makes sense, considering the movie was produced by Stephen Spielberg, the most famous Jew in Hollywood).

What is surprising to me is the specificity of events, like how the movie starts out with the family celebrating Hannukah (a fact that was lost on me as a kid) and how it's quickly followed by a Russian pogrom (for those who were asleep in history class, pogroms were state-sponsored Jew-killings). The family also goes through Ellis Island, and there are small children mice who are put to work in sweatshops.

There's a pretty defined split between the characters that are memorable and the ones that aren't. For every main player that has stuck with me, like Papa, Tiger, and Warren T. Ratt, there are secondary characters that I totally spaced, like Bridget, Honest John (which sounds like they figured any minor character name that was good enough for Disney was good enough for them), and Henri, the pigeon who seems suspiciously like another flamboyant, singing pigeon in Thumbelina.

I kinda sorta remember her, but she really doesn't have much to do in this movie.

The voice talent pretty average, too. Tanya's is good (a non-annoying, but very youthful, character; a refreshing change of pace from the kids in the last movie), Papa's is great (the guy is absolutely huge with his character, and his filmography is pretty impressive too), Tiger is a large improvement over Dom DeLuise's previous role in The Secret of NIMH, but the rest is, by and large, pretty annoying. Tony's Bronx tough-guy accent and personality is obnoxious, Bridget's brogue isn't very convincing (I didn't even know she had one until I rewatched it), and Fievel is one of those "aw, isn't he cute because he's inept and little" kids that I find exceptionally aggravating.

The songs are also pretty "eh;" the only one that I really appreciated was "Somewhere Out There," and the in-movie production of it is GOSH-AWFUL. "Never Say Never" and "We're A Duo" are not so bad (perfectly serviceable, but nothing to write home about, though judging by what little I've seen of Thumbelina, I might have to not be so picky...), but "There Are No Cats in America" has literally haunted me for years, and that chorus is just as annoying as ever. I must say, though, that the verses are much better executed than I remember; the first two verses definitely peter out at the very end, despite their strong beginnings, but I really dug the Irish Catholic tenor mouse in the third verse. Of course, that was before the stupid chorus came back in and spoiled the effect.

Do yourself a favor and check out Linda Ronstadt's (much better) version instead of this one. Unless you really like listening to little kids trying to force a note.

And for all of the events and random crap that happens during this movie (an believe me, this movie is jam-PACKED with characters to meet and plot points to check off), the major conflict is a total anti-climax: the mice build a giant murderous-looking mouse to frighten off the cats so that they can take the slow boat to China. The cats aren't even a problem (the American cats, anyways) until like halfway through the movie. Why this is treated like a huge plot point is beyond me.

Overall, though, I found it fairly entertaining, but I think nostalgia carried me a good portion of the way. The historical parallels were fun to make now that I'm all grow'd up, the score is pretty good, the animation is a step-up from The Secret of NIMH, and the overall story is pretty heartwarming (the basic story of a boy finding his family is a good one, and the resolution for that story is a satisfying one) but for the most part, it just isn't terribly itch-scratching on an I'm-Watching-This-For-The-Whole-Of-Its-Parts-level. Most of the non-family-finding storylines are superfluous, the songs aren't very memorable (at least, in the right sort of way), and the I'm not sure it has the age boundary-crossing appeal of some of the best in animation.

That said, I would still recommend An American Tail to those who haven't seen it. Fievel is an icon for kids like me who grew up in the 90's, and the overall experience is one worth having, especially to those who are interested in Ellis Island.

Jordyn's Comments

Okay…An American Tail. This is the one I remember everyone LOVING. This is the one I remember being the cream of the crop, the crème de la crème, the best of the best, the crème of the best. I, like with all these movies, was rather quite impartial to it as a child. I liked Fievel Goes West a whole lot more. A whole hell of a lot more. I couldn’t exactly remember why until a few nights ago when Andrew and I sat down to watch the first movie centering on Fievel and the Mousekewitz clan.

First off, Fievel is about four years old mentally, whereas in the sequel, he’s probably about eight or so. I don’t hate children, mind you, but my tolerance of them as of late is as thin as butter scraped across too much bread. :-) So, I don’t mind Tanya, she’s okay. But fucking Fievel, man! Oooh, his hat is too big and he has Dopey sleeves and a high pitched, horrendously off key singing voice, I’m supposed to love him, right? Right!?

In movies/TV/books, I usually hate the character that everyone is supposed to find funny/cute…other examples include Gurgi from The Black Cauldron, B.E.N. from Treasure Planet, Stitch from Lilo and Stitch...some Don Bluth examples include Jeremy from The Secret of NIMH, Bartok from Anastasia and EVERYONE in A Troll in Central Park. Oh, and let’s not forget Jar Jar Binks.

Oh, I get it! He's supposed to be adorable!

All right, so I know they differ from Fievel, because he is the main character and those others are sidekicks…and all of these little shits have irritating speech impediments and fuck things up for the hero(es) on numerous occasions. But doesn’t this kind of apply to Fievel? Let’s think about it….

Okay, so we start in Shostka, Russia in 1885 during Hanukkah when Papa Mousekewitz gives little Fievel his grandfather’s…(uh, great grandfather’s?) hat. It’s too damn big for him and he obviously lacks the maturity to own such a treasure, but it’s Hanukkah, so what the hell? Then there’s some kind of uprising where all the Jew mice (or maybe just mice mice) get chased by Cossack cats (which look more like wolverines) and the family decides to head to America, because everyone knows…THERE ARE NO CATS IN AMERICA AND THE STREETS ARE PAVED WITH CHEE-EESE!

So the Mousekewitzes travel from Shostka to Hamburg, Germany to hitch a ride to the states. (Which is a long fucking trip). During a storm in which Poseidon is bitch slapping the shit out of the ship, stupid little Fievel wants to see some fish, so he PURPOSELY tosses his hat up the stairs to chase after it. This causes a chain of events that separates Fievel from his family and propels us into the plot of the movie.

1,200 miles.

Okay. I get it. We need a goddamn conflict, and having a simpering, baby mouse in a foreign country is pretty good. But why, why, couldn’t his hat just fly off his damn head? It’s a storm! It’s entirely plausible! But now I can’t respect or pity this stupid rodent. He did it to himself. It’s his own damn fault.

So, then the plot is underway and Fievel goes on his own little odyssey meeting a myriad of characters, including Henri, the pigeon who single-handedly built the statue of Liberty. He is suspiciously similar to Jacquimo, a character we will soon meet in 1994’s Thumbelina. I’ll wait until that blog to get into that, but I must say, Don Bluth sure loves his homosexual French avian friends.

What you see here is a total waste of having Captain Von Trapp in your movie.

Fievel meets some people and some shit happens with cats, because it turns out, there ARE cats in America. I don’t want to get into all that, because frankly, I found it boring. In fact, what really gets my blood boiling about this movie (other than Fievel fucking himself over) is that poor excuse for a romance this movie has.

On his little adventure, Fievel meets Tony Toponi, a character which must be an inspiration for Newsies. He is wise cracking, street smart, and decidedly Bronxian. Within 1 minute and 18 seconds, (No, I am not fucking kidding you. I went back and timed it), he sees an Irish girl mouse (who, just in case you were confused about her heritage, has red hair, a green dress, and a brogue), becomes infatuated with her, gets her to reciprocate, and they kiss. ALL IN 1 MINUTE AND 18 SECONDS.

TOO. SOON.

What is this? The love at first sight Olympics? At least save the first kiss for the end! What’s wrong with a little sexual tension? What’s wrong with making them work for it a little bit? Fuck! If I didn’t know that Anastasia was coming, I would claim that Don Bluth has the worst understanding of fictional romance of anyone. EVER. Plus, there’s also the fact that Tony looks to be about 12 or 13 and Bridget is 15 or 16. Ick!

Moving on…dear God, please! How about the songs? I liked the songs. “Never Say Never” is still stuck in my head, although it’s also quite suspiciously similar to a certain gay song sung by a certain gay bird in another Don Bluth movie. I liked “There Are No Cats in America” too, replete with its pre-90’s, pre-politically correct ethnic stereotypes. It’s cheery! Yay! And, after my years of listening to soft rock stations, how could I not love the Oscar nominated “Somewhere Out There”? I do. Very much. But the Linda Ronstadt version, because that little kid version might be “sweetly cute” but it makes my ears bleed.

As for animation, you know I’m not picky. Maybe it was our Netflix viewing streamed from Andrew’s Xbox, but it looked less detailed than NIMH. And there was some weird scale issues. Tiger looked HUGE compared to the other cats. And the villain, Warren T. Rat, who poses as a rat, but is really a cat…what the hell? That must be the smallest fucking cat ever. The song sequence of “A Duo” was a pretty big mind screw.

Um, yeah, what's even going on in this clip?

Overall, I enjoyed most of An American Tail. It was quicker paced than NIMH. I liked how “historically accurate” it was. I put historically accurate in quotes, because it seems more like the myth of immigration in America than fact. They stuck in some stuff like the changing of hard-to-pronounce names to simple ones at Ellis Island. There’s also some comparison of Warren T. Rat to Bill the Bucher, but obviously, it’s still kid friendly. Don Bluth and Steven Spielberg do a good job of putting some adult themes into a kids’ movie with out making it too complex or like a history lesson.

But again, this movie suffers from trying to find its tone. It’s supposed to be a family friendly flick, but it’s far too immature in some places for adults, and not mature enough in others to keep me from rolling my eyes. It is really hard to please everyone, but some how, Disney and Pixar manage(d) just fine, and I can’t fathom why Don Bluth struggles so much.

Songs

"There Are No Cats in America" - Nehemiah Persoff, Johnny Guarnieri, and Warren Hays
"Never Say Never" - Christopher Plummer (Henri) and Phillip Glasser (Fievel)
"Somewhere Out There" - Phillip Glasser and Betsy Cathcart (Tanya)
"A Duo" - Dom DeLuise (Tiger) and Phillip Glasser
"Somewhere Out There" (End Credits) - Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram

The Secret of NIMH (1982)

2010-02-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

Title: The Secret of NIMH

Year: 1982
Rated: G
Run Time: 1 hour, 22 minutes

Starring
Elizabeth Hartman as Mrs. Brisby
Derek Jacobi as Nicodemus
Dom DeLuise as Jeremy
Arthur Malet as Mr. Ages

Peter Strauss as Justin

Paul Shenar as Jenner

Hermione Baddeley as Auntie Shrew

John Carradine as The Great Owl

Plot: To save her ill son, a field mouse seeks the aid of a colony of super-intelligent rats, with whom she has a deeper link than she previously suspected.
Based on: “Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH" by Robert C. O'Brien
Setting: An American farm...some time in the 50's (judging by the telephone).

Tagline: Right before your eyes and beyond your wildest dreams.

Andrew's First Viewing: Summer of 1994 on a pirated VHS.

Jordyn's First Viewing: February 11, 2010 on DVD.

Andrew's Comments:
I first watched The Secret of NIMH when I was like eight or nine. My grandma has a cabin at Lindbergh Lake, and we had a recorded VHS version of this movie available for the grandkids to watch. And watch it we would, though I distinctly remember not enjoying it that much. Granted, I would still watch it (there’s something about being a kid where you will keep watching even when it’s crappy; even when you are AWARE of how crappy it is…), but I was never a fan of how “scary” (my words) the movie looked: the movie is punctuated by characters without pupils (just glow-y, Jack-o’-lantern eyes), random intense music, and gratuitous peril and violence (especially near the end).

In short, I’ve never really liked the movie that much.

Then, in the fifth grade, I discovered that The Secret of NIMH was based on a book: “Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH.” Being familiar with the movie, I decided to check it out from the library and see if it was any good. And dear readers, something happened that I didn’t think possible at the time. I started to dislike the movie even MORE.

The original book. All of the neat ideas of the movie without the boredom. Pick it up, I'd recommend it.

You see, “Mrs. Frisby” is not a tale of wanton peril, scary moments, and fratricide like its movie counterpart. The book is about Mrs. Frisby, a recently widowed field mouse, who discovers a secret colony of super-intelligent rats, and how the rats eventually help move her house before the farmer plows right over it. The characters were similar, but rather than Jenner being a power-mongering jerkwad and Nicodemus being older than God himself, they were simply two rats who (respectfully) saw their power-stealing problem from different viewpoints. In the end, Jenner simply decides to leave the colony, which is a far cry from dropping a doggone CINDER BLOCK on his rival’s head.

You must understand, usually I’m not too hard on book-to-movie adaptations for being too different from the book (heck, I liked Eragon). But this movie took what was obviously a “nice” story and deliberately made it “edgy,” for reasons I can only begin to fathom. Perhaps this is Bluth making a statement, something of a middle finger to Disney’s pantheon of wholesomeness.

Yeah, warts are cool, I suppose.

As you can imagine, going into this with a fresh perspective took some doing. After viewing it, though, I’m not sure if I failed miserably at distancing myself from my memories, or if I was right about this movie the entire time. Complaints about Bluth’s art style are neither here nor there in this argument; I can acknowledge that his drawing-style has its followers, and that they’re entitled to like it. By that same token, however, I’m well within my right to say that I’m entitled to be annoyed at the way characters flounce about the screen as though they’re underwater. It’s not so bad in this movie (wait till we get to All Dogs Go To Heaven…), but scenes with Auntie Shrew and Jeremy Crow just drive me up the wall in the way their mouths and body language is so stupidly over-exaggerated (not to mention they’re both pants-on-head AGGRAVATING).

Pants. On. Head. AGGRAVATING.

My new perspective was able to grant me some new insights, though. Like how incredibly SLOW the movie is. I guess I must not have noticed when I was a kid (or else I just fast-forwarded to the good bits), but this movie definitely crawls by with no sense of pacing to be had. I don’t expect it to be madcap as most recent animated affair (heaven help it if it was), but at least give your characters something interesting to do (we’ll see if the other movies follow suit like this, because I think I remember stuff going on in The Land Before Time that kept my attention; could’ve just been the dinosaurs though…). There was a point where we were like halfway through where Jordyn literally said, “I’m bored,” and I couldn’t help but agree.

I think my biggest complaint overall about the movie, though, is that it simply takes itself too seriously. From the violence to the horror-themed character designs to the “perilous” situations, the film aspires to be way too big for its own britches. It wants to give its audience a gripping, thrilling narrative about a struggle for power and a family in danger, but it can’t succeed because it’s about TALKING RATS WHO STEAL ELECTRICITY. And then periodically we get the random scenes with Jeremy and Auntie Shrew that seem to cry out “But wait! There’s comic relief! See?! Jeremy is just so clumsy! What a laugh riot!” When it comes to mood, this movie is doggone schizophrenic.

Yeah, kill his bitch ass! Then we can get back to the wacky humor!

It’s not all bad, mind. I really liked Mrs. Brisby, and how her character seemed so, well, normal. She was well-drawn, well-characterized, and Elizabeth Hartman provides good voice work for her. I also appreciate how much effects animation there is; at a time when Disney was trimming animation costs left and right, Bluth fills the screen with bubbling mud, splashing water, and murky cobwebs (note that I say that I appreciate it; I’ve never really liked how the effects animation look in his movies, because it looks like he’s trying too hard). The ending sword fight between Justin and Jenner was also fairly well-choreographed; if someone ever wants to adapt a Redwall book to animation, I would probably recommend these guys.

But quite frankly, this movie is not worth it. It’s not the worst animated film I’ve ever seen, and it’s not even the worst one I’ve seen by Don Bluth (you’ll have to check back later for that one…), but it’s one that seems tedious and overblown. I’m surprised at how little actually happens in this movie, and how long it seems in spite of that. I have heard that this movie is a cult classic; I would seriously like to sit down with someone who does appreciate this movie greatly, because quite frankly, I just don’t get it.

Jordyn's Comments:

Until last night, I had never seen The Secret of NIMH. I don’t think I remember learning of its existence until high school when I was trying to watch all the Don Bluth movies. (Obviously, I failed). As a child, if it wasn't about a babysitter who solved mysteries or pioneer girl traveling across the wide and lonesome prairie, I didn't read it. So I was also unaware of the book NIMH is based on. After coming to college, a few of my friends sung its praises as a great animated movie. But being a Disney fangirl, I simply shrugged my shoulders, and let these homilies on Don Bluth’s superior understanding of story and animation go in one ear and out the other.

I do not have the fiery hatred (or maybe utter annoyance) that Andrew possesses when it comes to NIMH. I have the luxury of watching it as an adult without the rose colored glasses of childhood to blur my vision. I can view it for what it really is, and that, my friends, is one boring ass animated movie.

The secret is that it's really dull.

Certainly, there are moments of peril, action, drama, pathos, and life unfolding…but it seems there are ages in between them. Kind of a hurry up and wait thing. Let's rush to get medicine for Timmy! But then let's take 20 minutes to dilly-dally with that stupid crow, who I wish had stayed tied up for the whole movie. It felt like important moments lost their significance because they were given the same amount of time and care put into the adventures of Auntie Shrew. Uneven pacing, thy name is The Secret of NIMH.

There are things I enjoyed about NIMH, but mostly, I think they are rooted in the base material. I like the plot of sick little Timmy and moving day and how the hell are we going to get out of Dodge in time? I also enjoy seeing a heroine who is a mother, and not some fresh faced virgin imp who actually needs the help of her irritating sidekicks. Although, why the fuck doesn’t Mrs. Brisby have a first name? Her husband is Jonathan, not just Mr. Brisby. Give her a first name, dammit!

She's an important character dammit! Give her an identity!

I need to say that I enjoyed the one song in this movie, "Flying Dreams". I love that late 70's/early 80's cotton candy music. If this movie was made today, you know that song would be popped out by Beyonce or something. I love how the movie feels and looks distinctively early 80's. (It's one of my favorite time periods for fashion and food box labels). I can't really put it into words...it's simply a feeling I get. And I feel the animation fits well into this time period.

Actually, (sorry, Andrew!) I am one of those who enjoys Don Bluth's animation style. I'm not saying it's perfect and I'm not saying it's better than Disney. (Although, I would say it's better than the animation in Disney's xerography movies) It's just different! It makes a point to be different. It doesn't look like the early "good" Disney movies like Pinocchio or Lady and the Tramp nor does it change in style after Disney came back to kick ass and take names in the 90's. (Even Anastasia still has the Bluth look). Mostly I like the grotesque amount of detail found on every flower petal and in every wrinkle on Nicodemus's ancient brow.

Don Bluth creates a world filled with minutia and great little details.

And I have to say, you can tell that Bluth loves his project. This isn't a movie created to simply say "fuck you" to Disney or to make money (unlike the The Land Before Time sequels). I honestly feel Bluth wanted to make something different and "better". It was quite a gutsy move to leave the Mouse (and, some might say, cowardly to abandon them in their time of need). Yeah, maybe it's trying to be prestigious at times (but not to the level of say, oh, Happy Feet). You can't blame a man for making the movie he wants to make...although it does take a dump on its source material and fills it with unnecessary mysticism and violence.

Personally, I don't really care about the gratuitous violence or "dark and scary" moments. Then again, this movie didn't haunt my childhood nightmares. Is the violence a little too much for kids? I don't know. If I had kids...probably not. But my parents were loose with the violence for me, so I would most likely not think too much of it.

Really, the thing that pissed me off the most about NIMH was how Mrs. Brisby flirted with Justin so soon after her husband's death. What was it? Like a week ago? I'm very glad it didn't develop into anything, but that moment made me lose respect for her. And it was entirely unnecessary! Okay, if you want to have Justin as a smarmy womanizing type, great. Just don't use Mrs. Brisby's respectability to do it.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Overall, it was okay. If I was sick and had to choose a movie to put me to sleep, this one would be right up there with The Fox and the Hound (ironically, also worked on by Bluth). I don't care for it, and I probably won't watch it again unless I'm babysitting or something. Even then...I'd probably use my powers of persuasion to condition the child towards Disney (MWU-AH-HA-HA-HA!).

Andrew's Rebuttal:

Okay, Jordyn mentions a couple valid points about the movie that I have glossed over, probably because I was well in the middle of a ‘roid-rage when I made my initial post. On a base level, I do like the story: moving day, the dilemma of moving Timmy who has pneumonia, and the titular Secret of the rats of NIMH. All quite solid stuff, and it even works to an certain extent, but the execution in so bollocksed-up that I just don’t get the same wonder from the story that I could have (and wanted to!). As Jordyn says, the whole “hurry up and wait” thing is definitely a royal pain; there’s a lot of neat stuff that DOES happen in the story, but the movie spends so much boredom-time leading up to it, and the cool (or even plot-related) moments go by so fast that the end feels like one big anticlimax (and what's with the random deus ex machina ending, anyways?).

Here's what the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy has to say on plot devices...

A lot of my relative angst with the post also comes from my relative tepidness to Bluth’s style, which is perfectly serviceable in this movie for those who enjoy it. None of the animation looks bad, and it definitely has its own way about it; Bluth obviously cares about artistic beauty, and I will reiterate what Jordyn has said about how much better this movie looks than the Disney xerography movies (everything after Sleeping Beauty and before The Rescuers Down Under, I think). There are just some minor quirks about it that sometimes rub me the wrong way (the aforementioned flouncing).

Also, lastly about the violence, I do think the violence is unnecessary, but the gratuitousness of it doesn’t bother me as much as the movie’s inconsistent tone does. Perhaps little kids are better with violence than I was, but how many of these same kids are going to be amused with the “wacky antics” of Jeremy Crow constantly getting tied up? It feels like they tried to do two different things and ended up getting tripped up.

But again, I don’t hate this movie, I just have some skeletons. Overall, for fans of Don Bluth, I would give this one a rental. It’s nice to see his first major foray into the non-Disney territory, and this movie rightly gave him notice when it first came out (beats the crap out of The Fox and the Hound). Fans of animated films might want to give this one a pass; though it has some good ideas, it just doesn’t do much with them.

Jordyn's Rebuttal

Truly...I don't give a shit about this movie. Not even enough of a shit to argue with much in Andrew's rebuttal. I agree that the ending was sudden, stupid, and about as satisfying as losing your virginity to a baby carrot. But even after the whole Amulet-of-Power-Force-lifting-the-cinder-block-house-out-of-the-mud ending, I find the most insulting part is the conclusion involving Jeremy's love match.

What. The. Fuck. I hated how they set up the Jeremy "looking for love" plotline at his initial introduction and then ignored it until THE VERY FUCKING LAST MINUTE. Then an equally retarded and equally clumsy she-crow slams into him. Of course, since they are the only goddamn birds in the movie, it has to be LOVE. Then they fly off into the goddamn sunset, each holding the end of a piece of string in their beaks.

Pointless love subplot? Very, very check.

For one, the movie isn't even about Jeremy, so why the hell does he get the last scene and the last frame? Secondly, Jeremy does not overcome anything character-wise to merit a satisfying romantic conclusion. It's not like he's a commitment-phobe or has a fear of intimacy keeping him from pursuing chicks. He's just a fucktard. At least his bitch isn't some sexy babe ala Thumper's lady in Bambi. At least she's just as unlikable and fucktarded as him.

Imagine the inadequate romance making me angry. I'm sure Andrew probably agrees with me on this. But I do have one argument. I would suggest this movie to animation lovers...if they haven't seen it already. The Secret of NIMH is an important part of the canon in the history of American animation. But, with that being said, a proficient film viewer needs to watch everything, including the crap. (Of course, this is coming from a person who has watched countless movies she's disliked, simply to complete canons and lists.)

My final thought is this: go ahead and like The Secret of NIMH. I don't give a shit. I have nothing hugely personal against this movie. But don't tell me Don Bluth is the greatest animator of all time without sitting through A Troll in Central Park first. It's easy to point to this movie through clouded Nostalgia Goggles and think it's good, but I strongly advise a rewatching before you go spouting off Bluth's praises as the Master of Animation...that is, if you don't fall asleep.

Songs
"Flying Dreams" - Sally Stevens

"Flying Dreams" (End Credits) - Paul Williams

Introductions

2010-02-11T16:56:00.000-08:00

Greetings and welcome to Bluthanized, the blog that dissects the films of animator/director Don Bluth. If you were raised in the late 80's/early 90's, then no introductions need be made...but if you are one of those whippersnappers who came of age when all animated movies feature trendy references, celebrity voices and CGI, perhaps said introductions are in order.

Don Bluth was, once a upon a time, an animator for Disney. He worked on The Rescuers, Pete's Dragon and The Fox and the Hound. But since the Disney animation unit was practically in the toilet at the time, he (among others) jumped ship and formed his own animation studio. His first production was The Secret of NIMH, based on the children's book "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH". Despite it doing okay with critics and earning some dough at the box office, the movie had a huge cult following thanks to the VCR. Later, Don Bluth teamed up with Steven Spielberg to make An American Tail and The Land Before Time, which did pretty damn well and are considered his magnum opi.

But then, due to creative differences, Spielberg and Bluth split. Around the same time, Disney managed to reclaim the throne as the king of animation with The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast. From then on, Don Bluth's movies like Rock-a-Doodle and A Troll in Central Park, simply could not compete in quality or criticism.

In 1996, Don Bluth hooked up with Fox Animation Studios and made Anastasia, which made bank compared to his recent efforts. Much of its success was thanks to its similarity to other Disney movies featuring witty, intelligent princesses and strong musical numbers. Don Bluth's last feature was the sci-fi epic Titan A.E. which did well critically but bombed at the box office (Disney's Treasure Planet would meet the same fate in 2002). Since then, Don Bluth has retired and slipped out of the public eye.

Great. So...who the hell are we?: We are Andrew (Diversion 2.0) and Jordyn (Popped Density) two seniors at Carroll College in beautiful Helena, Montana. Andrew is a CIS major, and Jordyn is a theatre major. Both of us enjoy movies, animated movies, sometimes crappy movies and are, essentially, self-proclaimed experts at watching movies.

What the hell are we doing?: Thanks to the Nostalgia Critic/Nostalgia Chick, Andrew and Jordyn decided to rip them off wholesale by doing a cross over blog. We will be watching the ten theatrically released animated features produced by Don Bluth and reviewing them. This means we won't be touching Banjo the Woodpile Cat, Bartok the Magnificent, or any of the 13 Land Before Time sequels with a ten foot pole

Where will this monumental event take place?: Right here, on Bluthanized...tell all your friends.

When will you do it?: Well, we're starting soon and will continue until we're done. Some of the movies we own, others we have to order on Netflix, so keep checking back.

Why, oh, why!?: Mainly, we wanted to do a cross over blog and review something we both have an interest in. Don Bluth only has ten movies, so it seemed doable. Neither of us are big fans of Don Bluth. Andrew has a soft spot for a few of them, but for the most part has trouble with the art style and the anti-Disney animation-philes who are up their own ass about how much "better" he is. However, for all intents and purposes, he is willing to put his quasi-biases behind himself for this experiment. And Jordyn is quite impartial, loving one, liking some, and being disgusted by the rest...but you will just have to find out which ones garner these opinions.

Here is a chart showing you what each of us has seen in the past.

As you can see, at least one of us has seen every movie in the Don Bluth canon except for Titan A.E. Both of us are actually excited to get to that one, so it will be a light at the end of the tunnel when we are knee deep in the early 90's shit (bring your galoshes!). So sit back, relax, and eagerly await our first review of The Secret of NIMH.